Do you love to entertain yourself through romantic fiction in all forms that make you want to explode and die all the time? They make you feel so happy and sad too, because a part of you knows they are not real and will not actually happen to you.
I’m actually that type of crazy person.
It is insane how we keep feeding our brains with fictional love stories when they make us feel so desperate for our own and fill us with so much sorrow afterwards.
What is even more insane is how we actually have guys around us who could give us what we want if we allowed them to, but we NEVER take the chance.
It is so difficult for me to actually understand what I want but what is even more difficult is accepting the fact that what I want cannot be found in someone who ACTUALLY exists.
That is the problem with us, idealists. We stuff our hearts with fantasies, never realizing that they actually are not real. At this age, I have never met anyone who can fit my expectations.
I guess that is why we keep telling everyone we know jokingly how we are in dire need of a boy/girlfriend when we always let the possible ones slip away.
The reality is, we actually do not want one. We want our fictional boyfriends/girlfriends to exist. Unknowingly, we are not ready for the reality of a relationship.
I hope someday in the far future though, I learn to let go of my hold on my fictional expectations and find a man who can make me happy nonetheless and I hope you find yours too.