Post-High School Journal: A Coward’s Take on Goodbyes and Growing Up

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*Featured Image: ©Aimary Rubio, Batch Picture: © Irra Chiu

Do you know how it feels to be heartbroken? I honestly don’t know, myself. But for the past 18 years of my life, I can honestly say that this is the closest that I’ve ever been to being brokenhearted.

It’s the last academic day of the last academic term of my last academic year in Miriam College: my home for the past 10 or more years of my life. From the tiny human being who barely even knew how to read and write entering the grade 1-Dalya classroom wearing a red polo shirt and jeans (not the prescribed uniform because I’ve been a badass since birth LOL) to the 12-Agnesi student who’s graduating in a span of about 30+ days, I’m actually having such a hard time saying goodbye to the school that taught me almost everything that I know today. It’s insane how so many things can change in a span of a few years.

Can you believe it, MCGS Batch 2012 and MCHS Batch 2016? WE ARE FINALLY AND LEGITIMATELY SIGNING OFF. I mean, it’s a few weeks away but still, the farewell vibe is already here and we all know it.

Parang ang bilis naman masiyado. Hindi pa ata ako ready.

For the people who know me, I know I always say things like, “I can’t wait to get out of high school.” But now that I’m coming out of it, I kinda feel like I don’t want to leave anymore. Not that I’m gonna repeat 12th grade or anything but, you get the point.

It’s just so difficult to accept the fact that I won’t be able to chitchat with Ate Siomai and Ate Angel from the cafeteria nor would I ever watch another live 4D performance or another FSR Concert. I won’t ever get to shout S-S-E-S-E-N-I-O-R-S during the Acquaintance day, Christmas party nor the GATC week and I won’t ever get to see Dr. Fermin and his fancy fair costumes again.

I never knew growing up was gonna be this hard. Saying goodbye has got to be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever faced in my life. After this school year, I’ll never step foot in MCHS in my green uniform ever again, getting my bags checked by Ate Romana and getting admit-to-class slips from the YLC office. I’ll never get sermons from Ms. Pam for being tardy everyday nor would I get to listen to Sir Sanchez’s super-funny-in-its-corniness Physics jokes. I won’t ever get to sleep or even sneak food into the library nor would I ever again get called on by The Mrs. Boots Villanueva on her scary on-the-spot-so-be-prepared-or-you’ll-die recitation during CL.

I’ve reminisced on so much but these aren’t enough to share how much of a rollercoaster my entire experience in high school was and I’m sure you can totally relate. Ultimately, I guess the most important aspect of this transition is basically accepting the fact that we’re not kids anymore.

Can you believe it, after all these years?

All we’ve ever wanted was to mature and to grow up and wear grown-up clothes and make decisions for ourselves. Now that it’s here, it’s not as beautiful as we expected it to be. Or maybe, it’s not yet as beautiful as we thought it to be although I’m still hopeful. I guess the goodbyes are painful enough to cloud its beauty that’s why it’s so difficult to see it, for now.

High school was and is amazing. Thank you for the wonderful experience, despite everything and because of everything. At least, I can say that the saying, “high school is the best 4 years of your life,” is actually legit!

So fellow senior, don’t fret. I hope The Lord blesses and guides You in your future endeavors, whether we were friends or not. And by the way,

CONGRATULATIONS!

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